SAVE YOURSELF BY SAYING “NO” - Abiodun Lambaba Blog



Wednesday, 8 August 2018


I used to be afraid of saying NO.

There were times in my life that I was so concerned about what people thought about me.

I was afraid of offending persons or even taken for granted.

Saying NO was a difficult thing for me because I wasn’t sure of how a person would feel or how they would react if I didn’t do or give them what they wanted.
At first, it was okay.

But gradually I began to go into depression and my esteem was suffering.
It was that bad because most of the time, it wasn’t always convenient for me.

“Jerry, do you have a pen?”

And even if it was the last pen I had, I would give. Not because I was kind, but because I was afraid.

Afraid of hurting people.

Afraid of being called “selfish” even when I knew I wasn’t.

Afraid of being sneered or criticized behind my back.

It was a clear case of identity crisis.

It was so bad that sometimes in the market,

I would be afraid of getting a product at the price I wanted it.

“How much is it?” I would ask.

“It's 1500” she would say

“But the real price is 700 naa” (which was correct by the way.)

“E no go well, na 1500 I dey sell”

Feeling too scared to argue, or too weak to walk out….i would look away and say “Oya give me”

I had the right to say NO!!...

But I couldn’t…

Was it my money??



The pain and anger of being cheated would overwhelm me as I went home.

But there was nothing I could do.

I was even afraid of standing my ground on issues that affected the lives of people.

I couldn’t let go of friendships that were obviously not working.

I was helpless.

I was inconvenienced!

Offering help was no longer bringing joy, rather it brought bitterness and resentment.

It was affecting my relationship with people.

But soon I began to realize…

That being too afraid to say NO would make me more of a Misfit than a normal person.

I realized that I was doing myself more harm than good.

I was fading away…

There were Many deep experiences too



I broke out!

Are you going through similar experience?

Are you always scared of saying NO?

Do people take advantage of you?

Are you sick and tired of the frustration that comes with doing what you don’t want to do??

Do you want to have your own opinions and
Have you had enough?

You have to break out!

Told myself this:
“Jerry, you are more valuable than this. You have the right to have your own thoughts. Have your own perspective and you own the right to say NO.
Your peace is more important than hosting bitterness.

Say NO when you have to!

Know when to decline.

Know what works for you.

Know what is not for you

And if from the depth of your heart you know it won't be possible….

You know with all sincerity that you can't pull it through….
It's not wrong to defer or decline.

With God’s help, I’ve been able to build balance.

And with the secrets that helped me stay in control, I’ve helped others do so too
Regain your happiness.

Your God given destiny cannot be fulfilled when you say yes to everything and everyone!

Know the difference between cowardice and firmness so you don’t make mistakes.


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