THE REJECTED INNER CHILD - Abiodun Lambaba Blog

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Monday, 30 April 2018

THE REJECTED INNER CHILD






At the root is the starving, helpless, innocent child that has no love. This makes her think she is going to die, and the rest of his/her life is spent trying to survive (whether this survival is real or perceived). No one has been there for her…she has not been able to trust anymore or rely on anyone she was forced to do everything herself in order to survive.


How can she come together with others? How can she trust? How does she know how to decipher? She has never really let anyone in, but wants that closeness and intimacy more than anything. She is starved to feel comfortable to belong and to be wanted, but she was never wanted, so keeps perpetuating the same situation, attracting relationships where she is rejected. She feels like the reject of the tribe, since she has never fit in. She believes that she is incredibly flawed. She wants more than anything to be understood, and to be seen, but she doesn’t know how to do it, yet she is terrified of it, she is so scared of being seen by too many because she is painfully shy and wonders if she even exists. She has always been quiet; she is afraid to make any noise out of fear of disturbing the scary/angry adults because if they see or hear her they will get mad and punish her. She is incredibly sensitive to energy.

How do we let this scared inner child know she is safe? Let her know that she can fit in here?


When the child gets older if she finds someone she is comfortable with she becomes clingy, overly loyal and co-dependent, she feels like she will die without that person because of her fear of rejection, becoming over bearing on the partner and creating that self-fulfilling prophecy because the others feel smothered and leaves.


Once she is rejected yet again, she is likely resign herself to the fact that she will always be alone confirming her belief that she will always be alone confirming her belief that she has to do everything alone and shutting herself off to the outside world. This is safer.


How can our rejected inner children come into balance? So we can come back together as brothers and sisters and co-create a comfortable world for ourselves and our children?


I am praying today for peace for the rejected children so they can feel loved here, safe, and accepted, truly knowing they belong. So they may be seen and understood.
Together we can heal, together we can feel comfortable! You/me are not alone.

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